Rainbows From Rain

Having another pretty good day.  Yesterday AF wasn't too bad until last night as I was trying to go to bed.  Then I went to the toilet like 4 times within 30 minutes because of the Niagara Falls going on in my body. I was falling asleep early at like 10pm while on my phone doing some work.  Finally went to sleep around 10:30pm I think, and slept really well until 3am when DH's alarm went off.  Got back to sleep until 6am when the phone rang plus I had a nightmare about DH cheating on me, back to sleep until 7:30am when I woke up from another nightmare about doing my taxes.  Still felt really tired but I got up anyway.   So far today has been ok.  I've got a list of cleaning things to do - it helps keep me busy during the day so I'm not as tempted to nap.  I'm gonna get started on that list around noon maybe, unless I get bored of watching tv before then lol.   Tonight I want to go to Big Lots to get some Halloween decorations but I need to se...

Hooray.  😐 So yeah AF arrived on 12 dpo last cycle, first thing in the morning.  How kind of her.  😡 I had myself a good cry yesterday, was really emotional all day plus cramps and bleeding and depressed....just one of those really bad days where my grief is so heavy it's suffocating me. But today is a new day and I feel pretty good today actually.  I got some cleaning done, laundry, dishes, showered, and made my lovely monthly blog graphic that you see above.  So will I get a trick (the witch) or a treat (bfp) this cycle???  It'll be right before Halloween.  Guess we shall see. No Clomid this time - taking a break from it and doing Vitex this month.  You can't take them at the same time. I was taking Vitex a few cycles ago when I had the suspected chemical pregnancy, so I'm hopeful.   I am taking the Vitex everyday and I started on CD 1.  Taking it in the morning, 800mg.   I seem to have unexplained infertility.  I ovulate. ...

Pretty sure AF is on her way.  No spotting yet, but my temp dropped even more and FMU tests are BFN (6 hour hold). Like I can still see the super faint line - moreso on Wondfo than FRER, but if this line I'm seeing was due to pregnancy I should be seeing it get slightly darker right? Or at least staying the same?  So yeah.  I'm accepting the inevitable.  AF is due tomorrow so I'm just preparing myself for it.  I really don't see how it could go any other way at this point.  ☹️ For cycle #9, I'm taking a break from the Clomid and gonna use Vitex.  I do plan to temp, and use OPK's.  Other than that, business as usual. ***Symptoms*** Temp dropped to 98.24 Both tests BFN Boobs look fuller Had a BM and after had ewcm with tiny streaks and dots of pink.  Had to really look close to see it. Feeling very hungry, then nauseous Diarrhea @ 5am Feeling really down because I know at this point I'm out and AF will show today or tomorrow Not planning to tes...

The day started off pretty crappy.  Literally.  Toilet overflowed and flooded the bathroom floor.  Got that cleaned up.  Then it just went downhill from there.  *sigh* I'll start with my temp.  Down slightly.  Still pretty high but at this point in my cycle temp dropping is not a good sign. Took a Wondfo @ 5am and got excited because there's clearly a line.  Very faint, a squinter for sure, but within the time limit. I managed to sleep from about 7:30am to 9am.  When I got up I took the test above, and another line - clearly.  Maybe even a little darker.  Progression?  Sure seems like it.  So that got me REALLY excited and I was pretty much convinced this was it.  Plus I had a very strong wave of nausea that left me actually standing over the toilet because I thought I was about to vomit.  I didn't - thankfully - so I drank some sips of gingerale and rubbed peppermint oil on my temples and under my nose to help w...

I'm beginning to really lose hope now.  That spotting yesterday though....what the hell?  I know it can sometimes take 2-3 days for hcg to enter the urine but then again I read so many stories and look at soooo many charts if people getting a bfp the day of the spotting, day(s) before spotting, next day, etc.  Maybe it was just a fluke.  A very cruel one. Temp is still up, so that's one good thing at least.  My test date is Sunday (12 dpo). First morning urine tests.  Don't really see anything any different from the ghost lines I always seem to have. I can see the ghost lines a little better now that the test has dried, but this is like an hour past the time limit.  My pee was pretty diluted because I'm still having frequent urination, so I can't go more than 2 hours without having to pee.  My urine has been pale yellow everytime.  If I could manage to get a decent hold, I would feel better about getting a BFN because at least then I would kn...

This has been the longest 2ww of my life.  So my temp is still up!  98.82 so that's good.... Peed at 5am and had a verrrry light bit of pink spotting.  I mean literally it was so faint and hardly any of it was there.  I don't know if this is just a random thing or if AF is coming early or if it could be implantation.  I'm just in limbo at the moment.  I know this is super gross but I have to document it lol.  So sorry for the TMI pic. So I'm half excited that it could be implantation (I had implantation spotting with Jackson and got BFP the next day).  But also half worried that it's AF coming WAAAAY early. I went ahead and did my usual Wondfo and FRER.   I really don't see much of anything on the FRER, maybe just the same ghost line I've been seeing which in all honesty is probably just the test line shadow or whatever. Now the Wondfo....definitely something there.  Undeniable.  BUT something just doesn't look right about it. ...

Well...I got another weird, questionable line on FRER this morning.  This test is from a new pack, and it's the flat one instead of the curved one like yesterday.  I was also able to pick it up on multiple pictures today whereas yesterday just the one pic. When I look at it I think ok....that's a bfp.  But then my brain is like no no no....you've been fooled MANY times before by these tests.  AND you're only 7 dpo (maybe 8 dpo), so it's highly unlikely that even IF you're pregnant, it would be showing up this early.  But then why do I see a line?  And the pic isn't enhanced at all - just taken with my iPhone camera.  So it's not like I'm trying to increase the contrast and stuff to pull the line.  That's definitely a line.  Either that or I'm legit crazy.  Either is a possibility at this point. I actually felt a little nauseous looking at it because I was like omg...this isn't good cuz if that's a bfp then it's probably ectopic.  ...

I'm 6 dpo!  Let the frenzy begin! Symptoms for today.... UTI is back?!?! - so I had what I think was a kidney infection about a week ago I think.  I used AZO tablets and it seemed to go away.  However every time I went to pee last night it HURT like really low in my uterus/bladder area. Once I peed the pain went away.  This happened several times in a row and so I took some AZO and it seems to have stopped for now.  Really bizarre though.  So possibilities...UTI in my lower urinary tract/bladder, a kidney stone that's working its way out, ectopic pregnancy (very unlikely), regular pregnancy and my uterus is expanding already (extreeeeeeemely unlikely). Yeast Infection - yay 😥 No idea why but I've been getting them somewhat frequently this year and usually during the 2WW.  I don't want to use anything internally during the 2WW so I'm gonna try to just use the external cream and hope it's actually just an allergy to the tp at a restaurant or something a...

Symptoms today..... Frequent urination, excessive thirst and cotton mouth continue Strong gas pains, had a BM just before 6am; still feel backed up so maybe constipated? Insomnia continues...it's pretty bad cuz of restless legs and the frequent urination Got really upset last night from watching a tv show that had a practically dead infant in it and it just triggered me really bad.  Instant tears and anxiety.  I'm still pretty shooken up but I'll be okay.  As hard as I try to not encounter that sort of thing, it's going to happen from time to time - it's just a part of my daily existence now and will always be I'm sure. Tonight I had this kinda burning, throbbing feeling in my lower abdomen.  I dunno if it's had pain or constipation or uterus.   Yeast Infection symptoms out of nowhere today. Why every other month do I get a YI during he 2WW??  I don't want to treat it because it's the 2WW, but at the same time it's itchy.  So I am using just the ...

Quite a few symptoms today so far.... Crampy this morning, AF-like; concentrated to left ovary area & spreading to lower back Temping - I've been super slack on it but this morning it was 98.85 so pretty high up there! Frequent Urination - got up a lot to pee Didn't sleep well - restless legs and body plus getting up to pee so much Nausea - a couple of episodes today due to being hungry cuz I felt better once I ate Very thirsty and dry mouth Pinches in both ovaries while shopping.  Made me double over and audibly go "owww" Gassy - burping a lot Appetite definitely increased.  Ate like a pig. Tongue sore, like I've burnt it on coffee but I haven't had anything hot Smelled poop...garbage from the can outside...just have noticed that I'm smelling things I normally wouldn't.

So far today..... Frequent Urination - been peeing a LOT but I've also been prettt thirsty and drinking a lot of water, to be fair Gassy - I don't have gas all that often so it's kinda odd but could be explained away Irritability - full on rage over pettt stuff Vivid Dreams - more vivid dreams today Craving chocolate Overall sense that I'm pregnant (have had this feeling since 1dpo but brushed it aside.  Was more intense on 2dpo and today too)

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my sweet kitty dying.  ☹️  So I'm 2 dpo.  Symptoms....cramps have continued off and on, lighter than yesterday but still feels just like AF cramps.  I've felt quite cold today which is unusual for me.  I'm always hot.  When others are freezing I'm like sweating.  But not today.  I have a serious craving for fruits and veggies.  I did with Jackson too but not until a few weeks after my bfp.  But it did make me chuckle to myself.  I'm probably craving veggies cuz I eat so much CRAP lol.  My body gets to a point where it's like omg stop.  I even considered eating carrot cake.  And then I thought...of all the desserts you could eat, you want....carrot cake?  LOL. Ultimately decided on a brownie.  We are getting takeout tonight - Irish potato soup, chicken panini, fruit cup and of course my brownie.  😂. My emotions are fine today.  No vivid dreams.  And I d ha...

Nothing to report really.  Still treating my upper uti with azo tablets.  I've been kind of emotional today and I'm not really sure why.  I have had to stop myself from crying a few times.  Just feeling sad today and missing my little angel.  Trying to remember what it felt like to have him kicking away in my belly.  I am just in a weird place I suppose. No symptoms to report unless you count the emotional stuff. *** PM Update *** Other than the emotionalness, I have also noticed a definite increased thirst which has resulted in more frequent urination.  Keep in mind that I do have an upper uti and am taking azo tablets for that so it could be because of that.  I don't usually have vivid dreams but I do quite often in the 2ww and today I did have a weird dream/nightmare about getting an RV and having some kind of tire blowout or issue and I woke up in a bit of a panic and couldn't get back to sleep.  Last but definitely not least, I noticed A...

Nothing to report.  I've been very slack about my temps this month so I didn't even temp today.  Still sick - UTI now I think.  O pain was all day yesterday but gone today so I'm pretty sure today would be O day for me.  I think I just needed a break from the madness this month of temping and testing constantly. I dunno when I'll even take a pregnancy test.  I'll see how I feel I guess.  Didn't take an opk today because I took AZO for my UTI and it makes my pee orange.  It did help with the kidney pain so that's a good sign that it is in fact s Upper UTI as I suspected.  Gonna take some more AZO tonight cuz the pain is back.

Woke up at 2:30 am or so, took my tests and low and behold got an almost positive opk and a definite peak fertility on the digital.  Crazy.  Straight from low to peak!?!!!  Verrrrrrry strong O pains ever since then, feels crampy at times, definite O pains on both sides at times.  Strongest feeling O I've had yet.  Wondering if the egg popped today or not.  We tried to BD at 3am but it was a no go. Successfully BD tonight though around 10:30pm.  Hoping it wasn't too late!!  Used a softcup as well.  Fingers & toes crossed!!!  So I'll see what the OPK does tomorrow along with my temp.  It was actually on the highish side this morning.  I think 98.22? Also ff marked O already - it's never done that before.  So weird.