Cycle #7 ~ CD 8 *August*

  

All of my Clomid has been taken.  My AF was short compared to how it usually is.  It was only 4 days, and only day 2 was heavy flow.  Cramps weren't as bad either as they usually are.  

My spirits have been down lately.  Lack of sleep (insomnia), Jackson being on my mind cuz it was the end of the month and he was born on Dec 31st so always at the end of the month I get really down.  

DH was in the ER a few nights ago - nothing serious - but I was having flashbacks and just having a really hard time being there.  So everything just kinda came together and I was feeling pretty shitty to be honest.

But today is a new day.  It's August.  I'm trying my best to just be optimistic but it's so hard.  I am planning to do some cleaning today, have a nice hot shower, and we are ordering pizza for dinner.  DD#2 is staying at her bff's - she went there last night.  DD#1 is being a recluse in her room as usual lol. 

So tomorrow I'm going to the pharmacy to get some CBE Digital ovulation tests (I already have a ton of Wondfo), and some prenatals because I'm out.  I'm going to resume taking my BBT tomorrow, and start the Wondfo's tomorrow as well.  I might take one today actually.  My last dose of Clomid was on CD 7 so I should ovulate between CD 12 and CD 17.  If I don't O by CD 17 it's gonna be tricky because we are going on a weekend trip on the 11th (CD 18) and staying in a hotel room with the girls.  So we would have to basically sneak into the bathroom after they go to sleep, in order to make things happen if you kwim.  Then when we get back home, 2 days later the girls and I are going to the beach with my mom and 2 of my nieces (twins) who are close to my girls age.  They're going to be 13 in September.  My girls are 14 and 15.  I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time I'm not...because I remember being pregnant last year when we went, and it was exciting - talked about baby names a lot and I was lamenting on how next trip I'll have a baby!  So it's gonna be hard but I enjoy spending time with my nieces, only see them once or twice a year.  So I'm going to try to just enjoy it if I can.  I'm scared cuz I don't know if they'll ask me about Jackson or anything.  I'm just....nervous.

So assuming I ovulate around CD 17 which is my usual time, then I would be expecting AF on the 22nd. We get back from the beach on the 19th.  If I ovulate early, I may have to deal with AF at the beach which would suck.  If I ovulate on time then it'll be about time to test when I get home.  

Anyway that's about it.  As I sit here I feel a little crampy in my right ovary.  Hopefully stuff is growing in there and praying I pop out 2-3 eggs.  If it's painful I can handle it.  I want this so so so badly.  Please God let this be my month! 🙏🏻

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