Cycle #5 ~ 12 dpo *probable chemical*

 

Gonna make this quick as I'm emotionally exhausted.  Got up this morning, temp had dropped a bit but still above CL.  Went potty and had a little pink spotting.  I figured ok that's that, but I'll take these tests anyway cuz why not.

After 5-10 mins I see nothing notable other than maybe something on FRER?

 

I resign myself to AF coming and take a long nap.  Wake up, more spotting but it's pink and brown now - old blood? So I get up to grab the tests from earlier to throw them away and as I pick them up I'm nearly knocked on my ass by two obvious bfp's, no squinting required!

 
   

So of course my head is spinning.  How is this possible?  Ive taken thousands (not exaggerating) of tests in the many years of TTC struggles and I've seen my share of Evaps.  If it were one test, ok.  But two different brands from the same pee???

So I have googled and wondered and pondered all day.  No cramping.  The spotting has been varying shades of brown, pink, red and sometimes mixed with ewcm.  It's been scant at times but seems heavier tonight.  So ad hopeful as I want to be, after afternoon and evening tests that have very faint lines, not getting darker, I think I have to face the awful truth that unless my tests get darker and spotting stops, this is a chemical (very early miscarriage).  

Afternoon tests...

 

And tonight's Wondfo...

 

Comparison of the 3 Wondfo's I took today....

 

Top was the fmu test.  Middle afternoon. Bottom evening. 

Symptoms:  nausea (mild and could be nerves), fullness/heaviness in abdomen, headache, diarrhea (was a symptom with Jackson).

If only.....

 

What might have been....

 

I might needs few days to process this.  I have obviously survived worse, but that doesn't diminish the sense of loss I feel right at this moment.

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